|
|
Homily at the wedding of
Shelby Barnes and Eric Iverson
August 9, 2008
St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, Glen Ellyn, Illinois
On
behalf of this congregation, I want to extend a warm welcome
to all of you. St. Mark’s is the parish where Shelby and
Eric have worshipped, made many friends and become a vital part
of the life of our community. Although we would have been thrilled
for them to stay close to us, we bless them in their decision
to move to Colorado, a place where both feel very much at home,
and we can look forward to their visits back to Wheaton College
and St. Mark’s, which will always be a home and homecoming
for them. I know that many of you have traveled many miles to
be here, so I give thanks to God for your safe arrival and pray
for safe travels as you celebrate this occasion and continue
home or to other destinations.
“It
is not good that the man is alone” – proclaims the
reading from Genesis that Shelby and Eric have chosen. It seems
on the one hand that if anything, our Creator has been an over-achiever
on this score. Today, there are over 6 billion people on the
earth, and the population is growing every day. As everyone
knows, China, with 1.3 billion people, is hosting the Olympic
Games. Last night’s opening ceremonies showcased China’s
resources of people, technology and largess. Fifteen thousand
people, in tight, disciplined coordination, amazed the world
with their precision, artistry, creativity and sheer numbers.
It was awesome. It seems that no one could possibly be alone
in such quantity of humanity – at the Olympic Games or
anywhere. But the reality is that we can be alone, and many
people are. It’s not just being physically alone that’s
the problem – it is emotional and spiritual isolation
and loneliness that infect our world. “It is not good”
says God – but simply adding people does not seem to be
the answer for us now. Isolation and loneliness are a product
of a world and culture that seeks satisfaction, safety and meaning
in materialism, status and superficial appearances. Short-term
horizons, quick results and hectic busyness are the unholy communion
of the world’s liturgy.
Why
get married? This seems like a silly question, but you might
be surprised how elusive an answer can be. Many couples I work
with in planning their weddings look surprised and caught off
guard when I ask them this. With the Genesis passage in mind,
we can think of marriage as the antidote to loneliness. But
marriage is more than an antidote; it is a bold and risky venture
that defies the ways of the world; it is a glimmer of the kingdom
of God in the corrupt and sinful city of Babylon, to use a common
Biblical metaphor. Given the craftiness and pressures of the
world, no one should be surprised that 50% of marriages end
in divorce or separation. This is why preparation for marriage
is so important, and I can assure you that Eric and Shelby have
done their homework. One of the things that I have learned about
Shelby and Eric over these past months is that they complement
each other in wonderful ways. They are aware of each other’s
strengths and weaknesses. Shelby on the one hand is patient,
seeks to help others, and is emotionally vibrant – and
this is according to Eric. Eric on the other hand, is a hard
worker, logical and caring – and this is according to
Shelby. Their relationship is no flash in the pan. They met
when Shelby was a freshman at Wheaton College and Eric was a
prospective student. One doesn’t have to wonder why Eric
applied only to Wheaton. Friendship developed which became dating
which became a decision to get married some 18 months ago. And
here they are today, continuing on a clear path, through this
place and time of blessing and witness as they grow in commitment
and love.
Both
the Genesis passage and the Gospel of Matthew speak of the man
and woman becoming one flesh. What this is and is not is important
to know. We don’t use the word “flesh” very
often – it has medical and risqué connotations.
But the meaning is rich in the Biblical sense – flesh
being alive, resilient, strong, absolutely essential but also
vulnerable and easily pierced or scarred. But cuts heal, sometimes
without a trace and other times showing a mark, a record of
injury that was repaired and overcome. Where there is flesh,
there is life. But becoming one flesh doesn’t mean a homogenizing
of lives and personalities. Shelby and Eric will not merge into
one new being. If this were the case, the Biblical record would
say, “they become one bone.” In fact, Shelby and
Eric will be strengthened in their unique personalities and
gifts. Eric’s logic will be tempered and strengthened
with emotion and purpose; Shelby’s emotion will be directed
and focused, made broader and deeper. The purpose of marriage
is to make life better – and Shelby and Eric, you will
make each other better, and your blessing will be ours, to this
community and all who witness your vows today making all of
our lives better. And you will be a balm and example to the
world, which aches with loneliness and isolation.
All
of this – marriage, becoming one flesh, a lifelong commitment,
is a tall order, and you cannot do it alone. With the support
of your families, the church, through the Holy Spirit, you will
be sustained and strengthened by God who blesses and abides
with you. The Eucharist that we share today is a strength and
reminder that in baptism you were and are marked as Christ’s
own forever, and that you are participants in the body of Christ,
where loneliness and isolation are overcome in worship, in our
community and in the sharing of the bread and cup, the body
and blood of Christ. In the words of the psalmist, “You
shall be happy.”
Amen.
|
